Evil GOP Bastards

Since the New Deal, Republicans have been on the wrong side of every issue of concern to ordinary Americans; Social Security, the war in Vietnam, equal rights, civil liberties, church- state separation, consumer issues, public education, reproductive freedom, national health care, labor issues, gun policy, campaign-finance reform, the environment
and tax fairness. No political party could remain so consistently wrong by accident.
The only rational conclusion is that, despite their cynical "family values" propaganda, the Republican Party is a criminal conspiracy to betray the interests of the American people
in favor of oligarchic and corporate interests and absolutist religious groups.

Ready…fire…aim!
Pentagon: "Sorry, we didn't mean to kill you."
Secretary of State Colin Powell needs to advise his colleagues in the Bush administration that indiscriminately bombing and strafing innocent tribal gath-
erings in Afghanistan won't exactly win the hearts and minds of the average Pashtun. How many incidents of "inadvertent air assault" will there be before the Afghanis start to long for the good old days of the Taliban, when at least they didn't have to worry about being cluster-bombed when they went outside? The Bush administration apparently thinks they can wage the War on Terror in Afghanistan "on the cheap" without the use of adequate ground forces. Until there is a countrywide ground presence to gather accurate intelligence and direct fire when legitimate targets are disco-
vered, there will continue to be similarly lethal debacles. Why won't the Bush administration allow international peacekeepers throughout the country?

Attack on Iraq
"war plan" revealed
Last week, the Bush administration "leaked" its war plan in the upcoming attack on Iraq. While presenting an impressive graphic with dramatic red arrows jutting in from all sides into the heart of Iraq, this isn't so much an order of battle as a sketch on a cocktail napkin. Drawing the big red arrows won't be nearly as difficult as convincing the Turks, Syr-
ians, Jordanians, Kuwaitis and Saudis to allow us to use their countries as staging areas. We wonder why Iraq is the "evildoer" du jour. After all, it was primarily Saudis involved in the suicide attacks of September 11, and it's the Saudis (surely a much more repressive country than Iraq) who are exporting the theological toxin of its militant Islamist Wahabist sect. While he is no doubt a ruthless dictator, Saddam Hussein is a secular tyrant, motivated by rational territorial and political goals. Saddam could be bar-
gained with -- the bloodthirsty mullahs in Saudi Arabia are beyond rational dialogue.

Powell declares, "The bastards won't drive me out."
Perhaps Secretary Powell is coming to the same conclusion we have. This Republican administration is composed of evil bastards intent on thwarting Powell's measured, practical, non-ideological approach to diplomacy. Despite Powell's GOP affiliation, we don't con-
sider him to be an evil bastard. While seeming to be a more natural fit with the Democrats, we admire Powell for his quad-
rennial prime-time scolding of the GOP on racial issues at
their presidential coronations.

J.C. Watts calls it quits
Has Congressman Watts finally at this late date discovered the GOP's dirty little secret? Apparently so. Watts was reportedly frustrated from being marginalized in his "leadership role" as the No. 4 Republican
in the House by the Hammer
(GOP House Whip and de facto
Speaker Tom Delay).

Watts' departure will leave the GOP congressional delegation "ethnically pure." Perhaps Watts will learn to appreciate the political wisdom of his father, who is quoted as saying: "A black man for the GOP is like a chicken
being for Col. Sanders."

"Malfeance" : Dub's Harken scandal fermenting
Changing his story as often as the latest breaking news reports, President Bush's explanation of his insider deal at Harken Energy continues to evolve. First, he blamed the SEC for "losing the form" he filed, which was later amended to his "lawyer forgot to file it," to "it's not a question of black and white." The candidate who promised to restore honor and integrity to the White House has repeatedly lied that he was exonerated by the SEC in its investigation of the matter (the SEC issued a statement explicitly contradicting Bush's claim). Panicked Republican advisors and spin-doctors have already resorted to their last, best polemic: blame Bill Clinton. After trotting that one out, there are no more arrows in the propaganda quiver. This will be interesting…

Cheney sued for Halliburton malfeasance
Judicial Watch, bane of the Clinton administration, has filed suit against VP Dick Cheney over alleged malfeasance during his tenure as CEO at Halliburton, and for access to the records of Cheney's secretive energy commission. While we have no sympathy for Judicial Watch, and suspect that publicity is like oxygen for the obnoxious Larry Klayman, we shall watch this case with eager anticipation for GOP dirt exposure.

Disputes rock Texas Republicans
There were fireworks at the Texas Republican state convention, where religious conservatives tried to require GOP candidates to swear allegiance to their extremist
party platform. While placating the radical grass roots activists, this would result in self immolation for Republican candidates in the general election -- even in Texas. We always knew that the confrontational radicals in the GOP would ultimately turn those sharp daggers on each other.